Karen was promoted to a management position four months ago.
In the past month, three staff members complained to her boss, saying
Karen_s micromanagement was stifling them and that she argues with
them when they ask for more autonomy. The boss conveyed this to Karen
who reacted strongly, pointing out various bad habits the staff demonstrates
that require her to “manage them tightly.” Karen is concerned
that her response to her boss may be career-limiting and she wonders
what to do about this situation.
George and Luis are co-workers who do not get along well. Things
have been worsening between them in the past few weeks and George
realizes the huge impact the tension is having on him. He dreads going
to work and is not sure what to do about this situation.
Brian and Janice both wanted to head up the new project so their
boss appointed them as co-leaders. Having to share the lead has resulted
in tension between them. Janice hoped they would work out their differences
to make the project successful but they are now openly arguing and
their colleagues are beginning to take sides. Brian does not want
to go to the boss about this and is thinking about his options.
Mediators reading the above scenarios will likely consider how mediation
may benefit the parties. Coaches are likely to consider the advantages
of coaching. The forum used, mediation or coaching, depends on several
factors, including the preferences and objectives of the person seeking
assistance. For instance, Karen may want help on how to structure
a conversation with her boss to rectify matters. She may also want
some coaching on how to improve her management style to avoid similar
problems in the future. George may want to explore options on how
to handle his relationship with Luis. Brian and/or Janice may individually
seek assistance about the best approach to take with the other, to
improve things between them. Mediation may be employed at the first
instance, or after one or more of the people in each scenario seeks
coaching, or not at all.
The Development of Conflict Coaching
In the ADR field,
ombudspeople are the forerunners of providing one-on-one assistance
for interpersonal workplace conflict. In 1990, Mary Rowe, a well-known
Ombudsperson for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, wrote
about the concept in her article “Helping People Help T h ems
e l v e s : An Op t i o n f o r Comp l a i n t Handling” (Negotiation
Journal, Vol. 6, No. 2). Although from different perspectives, union
representatives, managers, and HR professionals all provide forms
of coaching. More recently, conflict coaching has grown as a distinct
technique in the ADR spectrum of conflict management tools and its
growth is notable. Conflict coaching is a one-on-one process for helping
individuals improve their understanding and skills to be able to manage
conflict more effectively. Conflict coaching is an increasingly popular
technique for a number of reasons. Not everyone wants to address their
interpersonal workplace conflict and disputes in a third party process
with the other person(s) involved. In fact, many people in conflict
seek coaching to gain competence and confidence to manage current
and future disputes on their own. Conflict coaching is also effective
as a pre-mediation technique to prepare for the joint party session
and as a post-mediation technique to work on the behaviors that parties
realize may have conflict. Conflict coaching is also effective as
part of conflict management training and for selfdevelopment purposes
for mediators and others, who work with people in conflict.
The International Coach Federation
As conflict coaching
further evolves, a range of conflict coaching models are likely to
emerge. According to the International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org),
major premises of current models are those that acknowledge selfdetermination
and self-discovery and employ a coaching framework that supports such
discovery. Coaching helps people clarify their objectives and desired
outcomes, assists them in identifying the steps required to reach
their goals, and prepares them to anticipate and overcome the challenges
in doing so.
In the process of assisting _coachees_ develop a concrete plan to
achieve their goals, trained conflict coaches help individuals analyze
how they engage in disputes. Coachees gain insights regarding behaviors
that preclude them from interacting more effectively and in ways that
align with their objectives. Coaching techniques such as reflective
questioning help increase self-awareness and inspire different perspectives
about the specific conflict situation and the related relationship
dynamic.
Back to the Scenarios
Considering the previous scenario about Karen, if she seeks coaching,
she may ask the coach to first help her prepare for a conversation
with her boss in which she apologizes for her reaction and lets him
know she intends to work on shifting her micromanagement style. In
keeping with this goal, Karen_s coaching may then concentrate on examining
her style of management.
Among other possible approaches to help Karen reach her objectives,
the coach may encourage Karen to reflect on the impact of her style
on her staff and to consider what other styles she may try that will
still meet her needs, as well as theirs. With coaching, Karen may
also try out the new styles of managing indentified and/or she may
request help to consider ways to best engage her staff in a discussion
about their mutual expectations. These are just some examples of what
Karen might accomplish in coaching.
Summary Although there are a number of similar principles between
conflict coaching and mediation, it is more than the number of people
at the table that distinguishes them. For instance, the types of goals
an individual may bring to the “Table for Two” with a
coach are not necessarily about resolving issues. Oftentimes, coaching
objectives include the desire to gain strategies for changing non-productive
behaviors. Conflict coaching represents a multifaceted process that
is adaptable to individual specific conflict management goals and
the knowledge, skills and abilities needed to reach them.
As conflict coaching is quickly gaining strength as a distinct and
effective ADR mechanism, it is increasingly important that the field
comes together to dialogue on how this technique fits within the spectrum
of options that help people in conflict.
Cinnie Noble, ACC, CM, LL.M. (ADR), is a lawyer-mediator and
ICF certified coach who created the CINERGY® model of conflict
coaching. She chairs the ACR Workplace Section’s new Conflict
Coaching Subcommittee and is co-chair of the ICF’s Special Interest
Group on Conflict Coaching.
