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Being True to Yourself

It sometimes happens that we are not true to ourselves and that leads to internal conflict. We might avoid the situation; we might agree when we don’t feel agreeable; we might pretend we are not impacted; we might accommodate the other person’s needs rather than our own; and so on.

We choose different ways of responding to conflict and the other person for various reasons. Often though, we pay a price for giving in and avoiding conflict, including that we end up feeling untrue to our needs, our values, our beliefs and so on. We live a lie and all that goes with being dishonest. This might take the form of depression, regret, anger, sadness, antagonism and other negative results.

If you have a tendency to give in or otherwise be untrue to what you need or want when in conflict, this week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog provides an opportunity to examine the fallout of doing so.

  • What is one conflict situation in which you were not true to yourself?
  • What did you do that reflected this (your answer to the previous question)?
  • Why did you choose to be untrue to yourself in that way?
  • What did you deny for yourself – such as your needs, beliefs, values, etc.?
  • What is the impact on you of having done so?
  • What is the outcome for the other person of your choice?
  • What is good about that outcome for the other person? What is not good for her or him?
  • What is good about the outcome for you? What is not good for you?
  • If you were true to yourself, what specifically would you have said or done?
  • What different outcome might there have been for you if you had been true to yourself?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?

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