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Go and Come In Peace

When my mother was alive, she would always say “go and come in peace” whenever I traveled. As an avid traveler I heard the phrase a lot, and I must say I miss its resounding message. The expression was one of a number of mom’s signature ones that had to variously do with being careful, not getting into trouble or hurt by the circumstances I might encounter, enjoying the experience, staying calm in the face of any adversity, and being happy with my adventures throughout the journey.

It occurred to me, as I was recalling this expression, that saying “go and come in peace” is a good way of suggesting to ourselves and others to approach interpersonal conflicts. That is, I am thinking that if we go into difficult communications and situations with a peaceful premise and mindset, we are more likely to come out in a more peaceful state too. I realize this might seem a stretch for some of our fractious situations. At the same time, I wonder how we can reframe our experiences of conflict to improve them.

This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider this phrase – “go and come in peace” – as you bring to mind a situation you are about to approach that has you feeling unsettled.

  • What is the situation?
  • What is unsettling you most about talking to the other person about it?
  • What does going into the conversation in peace mean to you?
  • How might you reframe the situation, your concerns, or your attitude towards the other person to accomplish a peaceful approach?
  • How might you approach the situation in a peaceful way?
  • What is likely to transpire that could result in a negative reaction for you during the conversation?
  • What might be a peaceful response at that time (if the above occurs)? What else could you say to maintain a peaceful way of interacting?
  • How might you end the conversation in a peaceful way?
  • What other ways may you come to this conversation in peace?
  • What other ways may you leave this conversation in peace?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?

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#conflictresolution
#questions
#peace

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2 Responses to Go and Come In Peace

  1. Judy Ringer says:

    I love your mother’s phrase, Cinnie. “go and come in peace” — what a beautiful legacy. It reminded me of a phrase from “The Anatomy of Peace” (Arbinger Institute) — or rather a question they suggest I ask myself when I enter a difficult situation or conversation: Am I entering with a “heart at peace?” Thank you for sharing your mother’s wisdom.

  2. Cinnie Noble says:

    Thank you very much, Judy. I like that phrase from Anatomy of Peace – resonant for sure.

    And thank you for the wisdom you share with readers in your new book Turning Enemies Into Allies. It’s a wonderful book – full of your wisdom.

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